Monday, 31 March 2014

Monthly Review - March

The month ended on a good note, so I just decided will be doing a monthly review every last day of the month. Sharing the major highlights of the month, reflecting on the blessings and how God saw me through my different struggles and also the lessons learnt.

1. I thank God that I am still in Cape Town, I should have left way back but God has allowed me the privilege to visit some places in Cape Town that I wasn't able to visit when I was still in school.
2. I thank God for my family away from home; SDASM-UCT!
3. I thank God for the following individuals who made an outstanding impact in my life this past month; Daddy, Mommy, Auntie Maggie, sis Thandie, Lisa, Christine,Vimbai, Br Sibonelo, Pinky, Dakalo, Donah, Thama, Busani...
4. I thank God for restoring my almost broken friendship with my closest to best friend Thamsanqa Mawerera.
6. I thank God for teaching me endurance through my table mountain hike experience. 
7. My PHONE is now working *yay* after falling in water, freezing a week later and stuck in my suitcase for 3 weeks. Before I used to think I can't survive without my phone but now I know I can do very well without it. 

Expectations for April:

1. My last month in Cape Town!!!
2. Theme for the month embracing singleness and biblical womanhood.
3. Aiming towards full-time modest in dress, transition to natural hair and temperance in diet (strict observance of health laws).
4. Consistence in my devotional and prayer life. 
5. Books for the month 'Christ Object Lessons' and 'Prayer' by Ellen White.
6. Memory chapter of the month 2 Timothy 3:1-17.

Second thought - Embracing Singleness

Recently I have been on the 'pre-courtship' tip. In my head I was thinking; now that I am done with my undergrad and I am not really sure what to do next, I might as well focus on something else tangent to school. One evening I decided to email my parents telling them of this newly discovered interest of mine and the response I got from my dad made me think twice (not there and then but a few days later). Part of the email looked like this;

"Like your mom, my hope was that you would establish a firm foundation in some professional career before you contemplate going into relationships. My rationale for this stance is informed by the strong belief that one should NEVER get into a relationship with the objection of being 'looked after' by another person. In my life I have seen too many women being abused by irresponsible men, purely because the men thought they could get away with it. For that reason I have always felt that my daughter should NEVER be subject to that kind of abuse."

As much as I want to be a wife, a mother, a homemaker, I know my dad loves me so much, he has never shouted at me, he has never laid a hand on me, he has never commanded me to do anything, where he could, he has provided not only my needs but my wants as well. He has been that faithful vessel that "has preoccupied the soul with that which will enable his children to render obedience not only to their earthly parent but also to their Father above." ~ {AH 212.2}

With that in mind, I have decided to set aside every thought, every desire to enter into any kind of relationship for now. I am sincerely sorry to those (plural) who have expressed their interests in me and never got a definite NO (praise God if you got a firm NO), I never planned everything to turn out this way, but I vowed that my life would only be His design. I pray that the Lord will help you to DELETE the thoughts of having me as the 'perfect' wife. I am very far from being that. 

To my single sisters who are worried about their 'biological clock ticking', who are probably wondering why no guy has shown interest in them, who are aspiring homemakers like me, if you want your marriage to be what it's meant to be, embrace your singleness and fall in love with Jesus. He knows your every need and want.

Sunday, 30 March 2014

Brutal realities - Life!

I'm standing here, deep in thought, wondering where my life is heading. Wondering what God has planned for my life. YES! I trust God with all my heart, soul and mind but at times I get so curious and tend to lean on my own understanding. Sometimes I wish I could get a full view of my life, even if its just a flash. But there is always a still voice within me, that offers assurance that everything will be okay and that God is up to something.

There are times when I look around and ask why life is not FAIR! Why I have to go through certain experiences? Why some people can't love me for who I am? BUT I am reminded of the lyrics of a once upon a time favourite song which say; "nobody told me the road will be easy but I don't believe He brought me this far to leave me."

Moral of the story: Life ain't fair, folks. It comes with difficult tests, and each person will have their very own, list of customized inequalities and unfair struggles to deal with. No human being gets a walk in the park, where everything is 'sunshine and roses' all the time. There is always a cost. But in all that GOD IS GOOD!

Wednesday, 26 March 2014

I will wait for His best

When you decide to take a firm stand for God, it may only be God who understands you.

However there is no need to rush anyone and/or anything. If something is meant to be, it will happen; in the right time, with the right person for the best reason. 

Life has taught me that; the longer you wait for something, the more you will appreciate it when you get it and this is because anything worth having is definitely WORTH THE WAIT!

Sunday, 23 March 2014

Faith that will not let GO!

Going down memory lane...

Once upon a time, I told my mom about this guy that had been on my case for a while. Her response was "focus on your school work for now Nonto, if this guy is really the one for you, he will stick around."

Likewise, I did exactly what my mom had told me to do, I said no to the brother (I'm sure it was not in the most polite way). We did not talk for a while, I even forgot about him totally. 

A few months later, being naive, I thought the brother had totally forgotten about me and we were back in the brother and sister zone. The brother made his second attempt, this time around he was 'bashed!' I even felt bad and I thought he would never ever talk to me again. 

A couple of months later, we started talking again. This time it was on a clear brother and sister basis. I was really shocked that the brother had forgiven me, so I asked him why he had not given up all this time? why he kept persisting? why he was so nice to me even after I bashed him so much? why he was always willing to render his helping hand whenever I needed it? and his response was  "remember your mom said if this guy is the one, he will stick around." (I actually didn't even remember my mom had said that, but he did and took it pretty much serious.) My next question was why me? why not any other girl? and he said some DEEP! stuff. Then what he said at the end of the whole conversation touched my heart and that was; 'I praise God for softening your heart, I never stopped praying and I knew things would work out in my favour' [paraphrased]. What FAITH is that? To think I still hadn't said YES to him! (Though I eventually said NO)

Moral of the story: As much as I 'bashed' this guy, he was lest worried about what I said or thought. Like Jacob he purposed in his heart that he will wrestle with the angel and is not willing to give up until the angel blesses him. Likewise, in humility we ought to send our petitions to God, and do not rest day nor night until we can say, Hear what the Lord hath done for me, until we can bear a living testimony and tell of victories won.

Thursday, 20 March 2014

It clouds her Judgement!

Most guys think to win a girl's heart they have to fix each and every minor problem of hers. It's good to sometimes offer to do stuff for her but when it's always it becomes a problem. 

On a more personal note, I actually don't like it when guys buy me stuff especially when I know very well that this brother has other intentions or when they almost always offer to do stuff for me even when I insist that I'm fine. The reason being that it appears more as being manipulative than just a mere expression of care. As a result when this guy decides to make a move, I become more compelled to looking at what they have gotten me, what they have done for me as opposed to assessing whether or not I actually love them for who they are. 

If you plan on getting a girl to be your wife by spending your money on her, what you are actually doing is attracting her to your money as opposed to your qualities. In that case, once you lose your money, she's GONE!

Moral of the story: buying her 'gifts', taking her to fancy restaurants, investing on her, etc, doesn't work. This is actually a positive thing, if she is a godly girl, you don't have to spend all your money on her and you can still get the girl. 


Wednesday, 19 March 2014

Girl Code - Common Courtesy!

Is it ever OKAY to date your Friend's ex?
Are there any exceptions?
Is nothing sacred or off limits in the 21st Century?
If she says its okay, does it make a difference?

These questions almost always come up in a girl's mind some time in their life time. Here is my own opinion on this subject;

If you are willing to date your friend's ex, then probably you are not really friends with this 'friend' of yours. Not only is it unethical, it's also kind of icky. Somethings are just common courtesy and a gesture of respect. No matter how much of a good guy you might think he is, no matter how much he might like you, it's just awkward, not to mention mean!

I have always told myself that I would never date one of my friend's exes, even if they dated for a day. If you make it to my friends/sisters list then your ex is automatically off limits. No matter who dumped who, it's a sensitive situation... and things will always be uncomfortable for the three parties involved.

Even if she gives you permission or she says she 'couldn't care less' or they broke up a long time ago? It will get sticky, she might not necessarily hate you or have anything against you but you will live with the guilt. I personally can't imagine my friend coming to say Congrats to me on my wedding with her ex. That is just not me, too awkward and definitely not worth the drama!

Thursday, 13 March 2014

Standing Firm on Principle!

Ever left the interview room hoping and praying you somehow don't get the job?

So today I went for my second job interview, a lot better than the first one. Everything went well, the interviewers were such darlings, they would definitely make an awesome team. I told them I wont be available on Saturdays because I believe the seventh-day is the Sabbath of the Lord. They were cool with it and said they wont need me to work on Saturdays. 


When I was about to leave, very confident that I made it, the one lady was like, ''Very well Nontie, it was a pleasure meeting you and we hope to see you next week SATURDAY for the training"


Wednesday, 12 March 2014

I LOVE him too much

...and my mommy noticed!

After a good week of not replying my emails, she decided to email me today. Despite the fact that she actually didn't respond to any of my billion emails she still managed to make me smile.
Lets just say she knows me too well. She knew if she mentions something to do with my lil brother I wasn't going to ask about the 'silent treatment' I have been getting. Her email looked something like this;

"How are you doing?
 Mandla is fine. He is going for choir practice these days. 
He is eating well and finishing his food now, even the food he takes to school."

The 'guilt' in that email just made me LAUGH. I could almost say "its fine mom, I love you still" but I had to pretend as if I didn't notice.

*you got to love my mOmmy!*

Tuesday, 11 March 2014

My fairy tale dream!

Just had a random thought of my childhood dream.
Once upon a time, being the only daddy's girl, I actually thought I was a real PRINCESS!
Yeah that's right, I lived in my own fairy tale world.
My biggest dream that I thought would come true and have given up on is; 
I wanted my PRINCE to be an 
So this guy's father would be a black African, the mother white and Spanish, my Prince born in America.
Then our ROYAL kids would be


Monday, 10 March 2014

Bookworm by DeFAULT!

When I was younger I never understood why we had a t.v, a VCR later DVD player later DSTV, in the house yet we were never really allowed to freely make use of any of those things.
We knew if my dad sees you in the t.v room that was trouble, he would either ask you if you had done your homework, if you say yes, he would ask you if you read a book, if you say yes, he would literally go in his room, get one of his thick novels and ask you to read it.
Being 'clever' kids, we found a solution, every time we heard his car was by the gate, instead of running to the gate, we would all run to our rooms, grab a book or sleep with a book next to you, to seem as if you were reading. 
That happened until we all gave up on watching t.v.
Then years later, I turned 21, I graduated from university, I was thinking I'm a big girl now, this guy wont say anything to me. I heard his car and I told myself I wasn't going to run. He came straight to where I was, and he politely asked how I was doing, then I smiled and told him I was fine. The conversation went on, then after a while he went to his room. In my head I was thinking VICTORY! finally I don't have to be on the BOOK every time. 
A moment later he came back, with a book in his hand, he didn't say anything, he just put it on the table and left.

This explains why I am not a t.v person and why I love reading and writing!

Friday, 7 March 2014

The Job 29 Hubby!

Rule of a Godly Lady


The blessing of him that was ready to perish came upon me: and I caused the widow's heart to sing for joy.
I put on righteousness, and it clothed me: my judgment was as a robe and a diadem.
 I was eyes to the blind, and feet was I to the lame.
I was a father to the poor: and the cause which I knew not I searched out.
And I brake the jaws of the wicked, and plucked the spoil out of his teeth.
Then I said, I shall die in my nest, and I shall multiply my days as the sand.
My root was spread out by the waters, and the dew lay all night upon my branch.
My glory was fresh in me, and my bow was renewed in my hand.
Unto me men gave ear, and waited, and kept silence at my counsel.
After my words they spake not again; and my speech dropped upon them.
Job 29: 13-22

Thursday, 6 March 2014

And I almost DIED...

I felt so helpless and lifeless today and as soon as I got to my laptop I sent an email to my mom telling her that I was over everything and I just wanted to come home. So this is what happened;

I was standing in a shuttle, on my way back from campus. I started feeling weak and dizzy, I knew I was about to pass out. I closed my eyes and whispered 'Lord not again, not now, I don't know anyone in here.' When I opened my eyes, I could barely see anything, and as soon as the shuttle stopped I quickly walked to the nearest place where I could sit down. I sat there helplessly, hoping someone I knew would just pitch from somewhere. I prayed again, I asked God to do something, to bring someone to help me. But instead God sent a soft blowing cold wind. I kept praying for him to do something, the wind kept blowing as if God was saying 'Nontie I am doing something.' I started re-gaining my strength and as soon as my sight was clearer I stood up and made my way home, still praying that I wont fall and cause a scene.

As if that wasn't enough, when I got home, I realized I actually didn't have the house keys. I just took a deep breathe and said, "God I know you allowed everything to happen, just help me through it." And he did make a plan. 

Wednesday, 5 March 2014

To My Future Husband :)

I'm still on a road trip with God. 
He's showing me things I need to see, teaching me things I need to know and is helping me find myself. 
ALL, so that I may be fit for my calling and to be fit for you. 
Yeah, that's right. 
We're already thinking of you. And you know what? I'm enjoying this. I am just praying you are too.
Keep pressing on, my love, I'll be there soon. 


"House and riches are the inheritances of fathers: but a prudent wife is from the LORD."
 Proverbs 19:14

Sunday, 2 March 2014

He still SPEAKS to me!!!

Whenever you don't feel like going to church or working for the Lord, there is always either a message the Lord has for you or a powerful purpose the Lord wishes to accomplish through you.

On Friday I got a whatsapp message asking how I was doing spiritually, I chose to delay the response because I had nothing good to say at that point. I skipped Friday night church (vespers), I was considering spending all day in bed on Sabbath. However after wrestling with self through the power and influence of the Holy Spirit, I ended up going to church.

I got into church at 10:56am and the first thing I heard was "A true disciple is faithful until death and not until disappointment" What a BLOW! Then during divine service what stood out for me was, "It only takes one step to come back to God, if you have wandered from God its time to come back, out of our weakness we are made strong." As if that wasn't enough, the closing song was 'Jesus is waiting' SDA Hymnal 286.

Then in the afternoon we had a literature distribution 30 minute session. I chose to go with two of my friends and I thought we will just walk around and come back after 30 minutes. BANG! God had another plan. We ended up meeting two guys, one is Adventist and knew nothing about our church on campus, he was really glad we came to him, he gave us his details and asked us to update him on where church will be taking place. His friend is non-Adventist, but was interested too and he also gave us his details. They both accepted the literature we had and promised to go through it.

All I can say right now and responding to the whatsapp message I got earlier is;

NOT alone, but through Christ who strengthens me.