I felt so helpless and lifeless today and as soon as I got to my laptop I sent an email to my mom telling her that I was over everything and I just wanted to come home. So this is what happened;
I was standing in a shuttle, on my way back from campus. I started feeling weak and dizzy, I knew I was about to pass out. I closed my eyes and whispered 'Lord not again, not now, I don't know anyone in here.' When I opened my eyes, I could barely see anything, and as soon as the shuttle stopped I quickly walked to the nearest place where I could sit down. I sat there helplessly, hoping someone I knew would just pitch from somewhere. I prayed again, I asked God to do something, to bring someone to help me. But instead God sent a soft blowing cold wind. I kept praying for him to do something, the wind kept blowing as if God was saying 'Nontie I am doing something.' I started re-gaining my strength and as soon as my sight was clearer I stood up and made my way home, still praying that I wont fall and cause a scene.
As if that wasn't enough, when I got home, I realized I actually didn't have the house keys. I just took a deep breathe and said, "God I know you allowed everything to happen, just help me through it." And he did make a plan.