Monday, 31 March 2014

Second thought - Embracing Singleness

Recently I have been on the 'pre-courtship' tip. In my head I was thinking; now that I am done with my undergrad and I am not really sure what to do next, I might as well focus on something else tangent to school. One evening I decided to email my parents telling them of this newly discovered interest of mine and the response I got from my dad made me think twice (not there and then but a few days later). Part of the email looked like this;

"Like your mom, my hope was that you would establish a firm foundation in some professional career before you contemplate going into relationships. My rationale for this stance is informed by the strong belief that one should NEVER get into a relationship with the objection of being 'looked after' by another person. In my life I have seen too many women being abused by irresponsible men, purely because the men thought they could get away with it. For that reason I have always felt that my daughter should NEVER be subject to that kind of abuse."

As much as I want to be a wife, a mother, a homemaker, I know my dad loves me so much, he has never shouted at me, he has never laid a hand on me, he has never commanded me to do anything, where he could, he has provided not only my needs but my wants as well. He has been that faithful vessel that "has preoccupied the soul with that which will enable his children to render obedience not only to their earthly parent but also to their Father above." ~ {AH 212.2}

With that in mind, I have decided to set aside every thought, every desire to enter into any kind of relationship for now. I am sincerely sorry to those (plural) who have expressed their interests in me and never got a definite NO (praise God if you got a firm NO), I never planned everything to turn out this way, but I vowed that my life would only be His design. I pray that the Lord will help you to DELETE the thoughts of having me as the 'perfect' wife. I am very far from being that. 

To my single sisters who are worried about their 'biological clock ticking', who are probably wondering why no guy has shown interest in them, who are aspiring homemakers like me, if you want your marriage to be what it's meant to be, embrace your singleness and fall in love with Jesus. He knows your every need and want.


10 comments:

  1. This is absolutely amazing. This really shines a light on the necessity of truely embracing one's ability to fend for themself before looking to anyone else to do that, while filing that longing to be with someone by simply leaning on Jesus our one true love. After all when the time is right, The Good shepherd will lead you to the right one. I love this Nonto. Truely inspired. Keep it up!! ♡

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    1. AMEN! - Thank you Kathy, its awesome to know there are people out there who share the same sentiments on the topic. We need to continue to look unto Jesus and encourage each other on the way...xoxo

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  2. I've never agreed with you any more than I do to this piece of outstanding inspirational advise. Loving God through Jesus and full commitment into that relationship that you is such that you draw the right people towards yourself and you are surrounded by people of similar values as you. If one truely loves God they would withstand to the ideologies that you've listed above without any problem. I have immense respect towards women like you. I Have a soft spot for strong women after being brought up by a single Christian mother your words although not popular will go a long way in building a strong foundation of faith in hearts that care to listen. Keep it up Nontie

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    1. AMEN! - Thank you so much bestie for sharing your thoughts and kind words of encouragement. God bless you...xxx

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  3. Your father is a good man!!! Hanti I told you last time when you were home that only when your career is sorted can you start thinking of relationships.. Hatidi vasikana vaka'pusa pusa'

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    1. He surely is the BEST, I can never ask for more. ha ha ha you know me chomie, I can be a lil slow sometimes BUT I praise God for helping me realize what you meant earlier. Thank you Sanqa...x (air hug)

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  4. For the ladies in uni who are already in courtship -By mere virtue of being a homemaker, a woman is 'looked after' by her husband, even if she works from home. After all, he is the provider and she the keeper at home. BUT, if a woman does not marry a godly man then she's indeed in trouble.So for those who are already within relationships and aren't done studying yet, don't be discouraged, lol. God's ideal is for you to be looked after while you look after the family, but also to be able to take care of yourself if he were to pass away. As for those who have heard God's voice telling them to do as Miss Nontie has-to renounce courtship till they've "established a firm foundation in a career"-what God has commanded, He will enable.

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    1. Alleluia! Thank you for sharing the other side of the coin, rather the original side of the coin - God's ideal plan! Whatever it's going to take, I believe (God allowing) my dream of being a homemaker/stay at home mom, will come true someday (though I hope it was soon/now). But for now I shall find joy in embracing the 5th commandment prayerfully...AMEN!

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  5. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1266CC7d1w
    I just thought I should share that we should be single with a purpose...

    Ndanga ndisingade kusaririra vamwe vachiisa macomment ane musoro

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  6. #dead by laughter!!!! You always know how to make me laugh.Thanks for sharing the video anyway. Being single can be something else, but by God's grace we will endure and one day say "thank you Lord!"

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