She asked a very sincere question, I knew it was going to come up eventually but I didn't think it would come up this soon. As she sat on my bed, she said "Nonto, tell me, what exactly are you planning to do with your life?" The worry on her face was unbearable, it was as if her whole world had crumbled down. I sought for words which I thought would brighten her up, but my dear brain froze, all I said was "Mom, honestly I have no plan, I am earnestly and patiently waiting on the Lord." She then suggested that I go back and work at my dad's friend's law firm, as nice and appealing as that sounds, the last time I was there the only thing I enjoyed was the free lunch and allowances we got, other than that it was yah neh... But of course I couldn't say that in her face, so I remained silent hoping the conversation would just die.
As she was leaving, what she said hit me hard, the first thing that came to my mind was "I NEEDTO START PRAYING HARDER!" Her words came as a reminder that the devil is not playing, he is surely attempting to counter whatever The Lord has in store for my life. I realized as much as I might want to give up on God, this is the time for me to practically seek The Lord in prayer, fasting and diligently studying His word.
I will continue exercising my childlike faith, like Jacob, wrestling with the angel until he blesses me.