Monday, 16 June 2014

Guest Post: Thoughts on Modesty - Part 2

Thoughts on Modesty, Guest Post by Reagan Ramm continued... Click here if you haven't read Part 1.

From my perspective, many girls don’t seem to understand the fact that dressing immodestly is not neutral. Rather, it’s a subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) attack against their brothers in Christ. If a girl knows the potential negative effects dressing immodestly can have on other people, and yet she does it anyway, she isn’t “expressing herself” or “just trying to be comfortable.” She is actually engaging in a form of assault.

Perhaps I can explain with an example:

As a general rule, men are visually oriented, and women are emotion focused. Say I was very smooth and charming. If I flirted with a girl, said all the right words to her, and gave her a lot of attention, would I really not be responsible at all if she happened to develop feelings for me? If I broke her heart by telling her I was never interested and that I was just trying to be nice, am I free of blame for the pain inflicted? I would say no.

Just as men often play with the emotions of women to manipulate them into getting something they want from them, women do the same thing to men with how they dress. Love is doing what is best for someone, so when someone intentionally does something that is not good for someone else, that is the complete opposite of love.

I’m not saying all girls who dress immodestly are trying to manipulate men, nor do I believe all men who accidentally lead women on when there is no interest are intentionally manipulating. Of course not. But in both cases, those who inflict unintended harm still bear part of the blame, and those who knowingly cause harm, are guilty of assault.

As Christians, we are called to die to ourselves, and to put the good of others above our own. This is what Paul means in chapter 6 of his letter to the Galatians. We are to bear one another’s burdens (put the good of others above our own) and yet, not demand that others bear our own burdens (die to ourselves). Most definitely, we should not add to the burdens of others.

Therefore, I really believe the verse this commenter cited actually supports modesty. Those girls who don’t like dressing modestly? Well, don’t expect others to bear that burden for you. Instead, bear the burdens of others. Plus, immodest dressing—when done without regard to others--is a sin, so I don’t think anyone should have to put up with that.

While most people in our culture do not believe that the “Golden Rule” is morally required, nearly everyone can agree that the “Silver Rule” is a moral requisite (Do not do unto others what you would not have them do unto you). Dressing immodestly doesn’t even meet the Silver Rule. If you were trying to give up a smoking addiction, you wouldn’t want someone smoking right in front of you. If you were on a diet, you wouldn’t want someone to eat chocolate cake in front of you. If you were spiritually weak in the area of lust, you wouldn’t want someone waving temptation in your face.

If the Golden Rule seems like too much for you, perhaps you could at least try to live by the Silver Rule, and avoid harming people if you can? Immodesty is not neutral. It is an attack.

As I hope I made clear in this post, modesty isn’t really about what you wear (though that’s very important). Modesty is about the heart. Do you value the good of others above what you want? Do you value the comfort of others over your own comfort? Or do you think that you should be able to do what you want no matter the potential harm to others?

If you are modest (humble) you will care more about others than yourself. If you have a modest heart, you will dress modestly because you won’t want to cause anyone discomfort or lead them into sin. It’s that simple.

C.S. Lewis once said, “True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.” If I may rephrase this, “True modesty isn’t about covering up your body because it’s bad; it is presenting yourself in a way that is respectful and loving to others, while also displaying your innate dignity as a woman.”  

However, even if you realize you really don’t care about other people, and you aren’t modest, you still should dress modestly. There are many advantages that come with dressing modestly, and disadvantages that come with immodest dress. If you don’t believe me, I recommend you read this post that I wrote a while back.

If Jesus died so we wouldn’t have to, and to save us from sin…then perhaps girls and women could wear skirts and shorts just a little bit longer, shirts with necklines that aren’t quite so low, and non skin-tight clothing to give their brothers-in-Christ a little help in a world full of temptation? I don’t think this is too much to ask.

Please show yourself and others a little respect, and dress modestly. Who knows, you may even like it.

Reagan Ramm
A well-thought out opinion by a young Christian gentlemen. He has shared so many other brilliant thought-provoking ideas on his blog - link: - Be sure to go there as soon as yesterday! 

Yea, right! Its that DEEP!

Stay Blessed :)

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