Thursday, 25 September 2014

Homeschoolers are NOT socialized?

Last Sabbath, there was a mini discussion on homeschooling at church. Many argued against it because they fear their children won't be able to fit well in society after being homeschooled. My question remains, when you send your child to school, are you doing so, because you want them to be socialized or to gain an education? But that's besides the point... 

Anyway my point here is, I started pre-school when I was four turning five, went to a public school for a good seven years of junior school and another six years of high school at a private school then went off to a secular university for three years. With the theory of sending your child to school to be socialized, I should now be a super social being, huh? I mean after all those years, right? 

Surprisingly enough, I am a serious ochlophobe - I don't do well in crowds. Worst still, if there are a lot of unfamiliar faces, I literally shut down. I am a very bad communicator, as a result I don't have many friends. I am one of those people who often let calls go to voice mail, I hate having to run out of things to say when someone calls. I suck at making friends but I do have friends and I admit no effort of mine was put in (well, at least, consciously). In church I always put my bag to keep the seat next to me empty (to avoid sitting next to someone I don't know) and make sure a friend sits on the other side. When I get an email, it takes me a while to reply because I hate being a conversation killer, so if I know I don't have anything to carry the conversation on, I don't reply until I do. I could go on, but I'm sure you get my point...

If you are going to argue against homeschooling then your reason shouldn't be that your child won't be socialized. The few friends that I actually have are mostly from church with one or two from high school. None from junior school. So much for being socialized, right?


  1. Weeelll, I was home schooled all my life and I'm a pretty outgoing person. Ask anyone. So yeah that thing about not being socialized? Maybe that's what happens to some people but I really don't know any, and almost all my friends/relatives are home schooled. Besides that, I really believe in home schooling because it works within the family order God set up. Also the parents know exactly what their children are being taught. Our schools are not set up to help raise and nurture strong Christians. Why would we want our children in that atmosphere? I hope you don't mind me saying this, but I very strongly believe it is not God's best to send you children away to school. God gave them to the parents for a reason.
    Have a blessed day!

  2. I very much agree with you on the fact that sending your children away for school is not God's ideal plan, my heart breaks whenever I hear people talking against homeschooling. I always tell people I will sure home school my children and I get a 'it's not easy' in response. I know it's not a walk in the park, but I believe with God it can be done. I respect all the home educating moms out there. Thanks Heather for sharing your first hand experience on being homeschooled.

  3. On the being social vs not being social side, I think it has less to do with how you were schooled and more to do with the personality type God gave you. I have been doing a lot of research lately on introverts vs extroverts (I am introverted and my sister is extroverted), and the results are very interesting. When you talk about your brain shutting down in crowds, I totally relate because I can do that too. It is a very common introvert trait. The cool thing is that introverts and extroverts actually have different pathways in their brains for receiving information. Introverts are far more sensitive to a chemical called dopamine associated with stimulation of the brain, so when their brains get overstimulated, they simply shut down. I know I am probably way over-analyzing this, but my point is that being socialized vs not socialized is not the point of education. Also, it is not a bad thing necessarily if you do not have a huge group of friends— this preference of many vs few comes from the way God made your brain. So when people think they can change a quieter child's personality by sending them to school, it is probably not going to happen. I believe that homeschooling vs public school is a decision each family has to make. If at all possible, I know I will prefer homeschooling for my children one day, but I know that sometimes it is not the best option for the child. Anyway, I totally agree in that schooling has little or no impact on socialization.

  4. I think the major fear is really not that children will be introverted (and btw, why are we being so negative about introverts? It's a way of being which is equally valid, not a strange psychological disease) but that children will have nothing in common with their peers and so will have little to talk about. I think socialization in that case has less to do with social skills and more to do with a common reference point, which they are less likely to have if they don't share many of the experiences their peers do as they would of necessity in a school environment. That said, I still agree with homeschooling for all sorts of reasons, but the idea of not having a common ground of experience is not unrealistic or illogical.

  5. I was homeschooled till college and am an extrovert, if you needed another case study. :)