Monday, 15 September 2014

Random Ramblings: What happened to arranged marriages?

Picture of me back in 2011
when I was on my wna-be Indian tip!

I am one of those people who are fascinated by the Indian culture (well specific aspects of it). I'm a big fan of Indian clothes. I used to be a major groupie of Indian-wedding-themed movies. One thing that stood out for me was their arranged marriage tradition. I just adored the fact that young ladies never had to go through the dating dilemmas, heart breaks, infatuation or true love confusion, etc. For them the principle behind arranged marriages is that, your parents know you very well and will make the decision based on experience and not emotions. This in a way reduces the risks of divorce since both families are heavily involved prior to marriage. 

I used to think this tradition was custom-made for the Indian culture until recently when, after reading about the marriage of Isaac, the son of Abraham (ref: Genesis 24), I was led into researching more on how marriage happened in bible times. I found out that; "In ancient times marriage engagements were generally made by the parents, and this was the custom among those who worshipped God. None were required to marry those whom they could not love; but in the bestowal of their affections the youth were guided by the judgement of their experienced, God-fearing parents. It was regarded as a dishonor to parents, and even a crime, to pursue a course contrary to this." ~ {Patriarchs and Prophets page 171.2 by Ellen G. White.}

Myth Bursting: an arranged marriage is not synonym of a forced marriage. It's not a case where you meet your spouse on your wedding. Its not entered upon to secure financial stability or strengthen friendship bonds of the families involved, as portrayed in some of these Indian movies. It's a way of upholding emotional purity prior to marriage. It raises back the standard of love from being a mere feeling to being a principle. 

Side note: I could have used the term courtship but I prefer arranged marriage, the concept can't easily be mistaken or misused as is with courtship and arranged marriage sounds more serious and straight to the point (in my head, that is). If you think of it, Adam and Eve also had an arranged marriage! (well, at least that's what I want to call it), so make sure God arranges your marriage and don't forget the devil is also fighting to arrange it as well. 

Remain in The Lord! 


  1. We lived in Asia for many years where arranged marriages are still sometimes practiced. And like you said, it wasn't meet at the altar or anything. But it let singles (especially who wanted families but were slightly older) to have what they longed for without the dilemmas and chaos of dating. It wasn't so bad really.

    1. Glad to hear it's still being practiced somewhere. Thanks for sharing Helene :)

  2. Hi Nontie, I would certainly say Adam and Eve had an arranged marriage. So did Isaac and Rebekah! Have a lovely week and thank you for sharing on the Art of Home-Making Mondays! :)