Being that girl, that literally used to relationship hop, the decision to stay happily single and faithfully wait on the Lord, was made possible only through continued prayer. I will not lie to you and say, it is a walk in the park, I sure had my days when I would throw tantrums at God. I would whine and complain about how my then 'crush' never even paid attention to me. In addition to my self inflicted 'misery', the words people would say, like literally vomit out, made the situation worse. So I decided I would write a blog post on the things you should never say to a single sister.
- Honey, aren't you dating anyone?? Don't ask this question. Ask what the Lord is doing in her life. Ask about her future goals. Ask about her family or her job or her Church involvement. Don't act like it is expected for a young woman to be dating. A relationship is a serious thing, not simply something "one does,' regardless of the culture we live in.
- Don't be too choosy. For heaven's sake, why not?? We are talking about marriage here. The bar should be raised high! Don't encourage a young woman to lower her standards simply for the sake of having a man.
- Don't wait too long, dear. Your clock is ticking. God knows this. And this young woman is trying to wait for His timing and His leadership. Don't tell her to basically forgo God's pace and rush ahead of Him. And do not discourage a single woman by talking about her window of opportunity for bearing children. This can hurt more than you know.
- You poor thing. Hey now, I know a young man.... PLEASE don't play matchmaker. From experience, it is terribly awkward and full of pressure. Let God be God. If He can create and bring a mate to Adam in the garden, then He can make paths cross and lead a mate to this girl. Be willing to be used by God. Don't try to be God yourself.
- God helps those who help themselves. This is just ridiculous. A statement like that is not Biblical, nor helpful in the long run. Do not assume that just because a woman is waiting for romance, that she is sitting quietly in a corner twiddling her thumbs. More than likely, she is praying and actively waiting. Encourage her in this. Do not demean the beauty of saving herself - mind, body, and heart - for one man.
Moral of the story: Singleness is a delicate season that should be respected and protected, not treated like an illness that needs a shot of nudging or matchmaking.